Me Myself and I

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Becoming yourself… Once you understand that’s what life is all about, it feels much more relaxed!

Category

I am dee

Date

31/08/2019

Length

3 min read

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It’s about self-acceptance, accepting your good and bad qualities, your beautiful and less beautiful sides, things that you are done with, things you want to do with the second half of your life.

Still learning, but slowly starting to understand the concept…really).

As you grow older, you become a more concentrated version of yourself. You learn who you are, why you’re unique, who you’ve always been. Without pushing yourself to be someone you are not.

Taking myself as an example, today I feel much more ME MYSELF AND I then in my twenties (or thirties). My ambitions as a young woman have taken me far and I have enjoyed both my careers, first as a fashion model, then as a fashion photographer. But I know now I was pushing myself not to be me, but someone stronger, cooler, tougher.

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“Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been."

David Bowie

After I gave birth to my son it all changed, life changed, my marriage changed, my career changed, I changed. Like undoing yourself from an extra (protection) layer. I had to stop living unconsciously, like I’d done for all my life, having a busy career, travel a lot, always on the move, creating something new. Motherhood at 40 was simply not possible for me in roadrunner mode. So one day, when Finn was almost one year old, I stopped working and threw my camera in a corner. Being home with my son full-time I began to consciously waste time. I stared off into space more, into the middle distance, cuddling and snuggling with my baby boy, evaluating my life. And one day I needed to leave everything behind and spend 2 months by myself (…with my son) on an empty beach in Thailand. To be alone, to think, to feel and to reflect. Best thing I ever did for myself to get to know this new ME.

It was an incredible feeling when I realized that I’m now at a point in life where I can do the giving. I’m the teacher now, I have the knowledge, the experience and I have a voice. It was a game changer. To live long enough to experience both those aspects in your life is amazing. It’s a wonderful place in life to feel that you have a lot to give. For me, it was the moment I decided to start a project to inspire women with my portraits. Like when I had Finn, that point when you realize the rest of your life isn’t going to be the same. It’s going to be better.

I learned, as I am getting older, what my good and bad qualities are. I will spare you the list… I know now that I don’t have to live by anyones rules and that rules are made to be broken. I can be bold enough to live life on my terms, and never, ever apologize for it. And I don’t have to take shit from anyone. I started this project because I wanted to, because I think it’s necessary to show the world how beautiful women over 40, 50, 60 and up, really are, yes with wrinkles and other signs of aging. Because it feels great to give, to empower and to support women. I go against the grain, I decided to take the road less traveled instead of the well-beaten path, to listen to my heart and closed some doors to open new ones. As I slowly feel like I am becoming myself, I know in my heart there is still a lot to learn.

I am wearing a sweater by American Vintage & glasses by Stella McCartney.

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