Bertine

“Hello Dee,

Thank you so much for photographing Leontien and all other women over 40 in such a beautiful way. The fact that real beauty is no longer just a matter of “young and perfection” is becoming more and more visible. Keep up the good work!

Dear greetings Bertine”

After I received this message, I naturally asked her if she wanted to participate in my project. Without knowing anything about her, I knew, because of the personal and kind message she send me, and by looking at her Instagram profile she was a beautiful, strong and inspiring woman:

Tell us what you’d like us to know about yourself.

One aspect of me is being a mother. I would like to tell you about our first born, that changed my life. I guess that’s what every baby does, changing your life in a way you cannot prepare yourself for.

17th Of august 2002 Marcus was born. He immediately had to go to neonatal care and I was taken

to the operating room due to excessive loss of blood. When I got back from

surgery, Marcus was not there. A delegation of 4 doctors entered our room and then you know; something is very wrong. Marcus is born with Down Syndrome.

. This is the moment you hear that big scratch in your beautiful baby

fantasies And this is the moment you realise this is not a ‘return to sender’ thing. Reality strikes hard. My first reaction was animal-like, one of rejection, I just couldn’t oversee it. But that didn’t took long, Motherhood took over and a deep feeling of acceptence.

It really made me realize there are no certainties in life. Now I can say I am so glad we never had any tests done. There might have been a big chance we would have made the ‘wrong’ decision then. Because now, when I look at Marcus there is no valid reason to have had an abortion.

There is something magical about these human beings, and it would be a big mistake to have them removed from our society. They sparkle so much with love and joy (and yes they can also be a pain in the ass … ). They are masters in living with an open heart… Social media really has made a positive contribution in the image of down syndrome, just like Denise is doing with us women over 40, it’s not as bad as you think. 😉

What Do You Do for Work?

I have my own massage practice in Breukelen and I teach at a massage school. Currently I am studying and practicing sexual Kung Fu. In the art of sexual kung fu, both male and female learn to amplify their own personal energy to extraordinary levels. Through this transformative practice, your sexual energy will increase exponentially, along with your ability to enjoy seks, your body awareness, your confidence and your capacity to truly connect from the heart with another being.

Your intuition will develop, as well as your sensitivity towards your own limits and those of others. This results in a more respectful way of treating everyone, including yourself. The more people know and practice this, our world will become a better and safer place to live in and #metoo will get a whole different meaning. My future plan is to guide other women in this process of becoming a healthy sexual being…

What’s the Biggest Risk You’ve Ever Taken?

What is a risk? It is a consequence of action taken in spite of uncertainty. I have taken a few, but the first one was 14 years ago. That moment I decided to leave the father of my two children, 1 and 3 years old at the time. It all started the day he told me there was ‘another woman’.

After I took off in anger I quickly realized that anger was not the solution and that it was NOT about the other woman. This was about us….’the other’ was nothing more than a sign that things were not working between us. So I decided to have a good look in the mirror. What was it that I wanted? And I realized that I had completly lost myself, that I was living his life and I had no inner happiness at all.

I was breathing, not living. With other words, it was me who was unfaithfull to myself for a long long time. I had smothered and ignored my inner voice and now it slapped me in the face: WAKE UP!! And I did.

For the first time in my life I took responsibility for my own happiness. That meant I had to end our relationship, not because of the other woman, but because deep inside I knew and felt we were not the right match. It was a big risk, we had nothing on paper, I hardly had any savings, I worked in his company and our oldest son has downsyndrome which means a lot of care… It was total surrender to the unknown. Like jumping of a cliff with eyes and arms wide open… just trusting that inner voice…

What’s your fantasy version of your older self?

My fantasy version certainly has grey hair! Today I am still coloring it and I am not ready yet for grey hair. But it is sooooo beautiful! Ofcourse in my fantasy I will turn grey completely overnight, so I don’t have to go through this phase of looking like a calicokat…

If you could tweet something to your younger self, what would you say?

Trust and learn to listen to your inner voice, and DO act upon it. No better guide exists, she REALLY knows what’s best for you.

If You Had a Warning Label, What Would It Be and why?

Warning: Risk for Addiction! This is all about my work as a massage therapist. Fortunately massage is a healthy addiction.

The most funny thing was when a regular female customer of mine told me: “You know what I was thinking? Actually I’m quite a cheater, everywhere I go I will have a massage, but you are really the best!” I replyed to her: “good story, you should say that to your husband in the bedroom…” 🙂

What’s the one thing you most hope for personally in the coming year?

When I think about that I feel like in essence it is just staying physical en mentally healthy, it might sound simple but we all know that it’s not…

What Scares You?

The thought of anything bad happening to my children, I guess it’s a parents do? Apart from that: Spiders.

What’s on your nightstand?

A flower, ostrich feathers, Kama Sutra oil and Kajeput oil from Bali, works really well for mosquitoes!

How old are you

49 Years and counting and you know what, it really feels like the best is yet to come! Despite gravity. 😉

www.massageopleiding-esoterra.nl

Photography: &Bloom

Make-up & hair: Esther van Maanen

Dress by Isabel Marant Étoile