A post on womanhood and friendship. In the past few days, I received several invitations from women on Instagram to participate in a challenge.
Post a B&W selfie on Instagram to support and empower women instead of criticizing them. Apart from publishing the selfie, you’re asked to nominate 50 women you think are strong, beautiful and, badass in your eyes.
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At first, I thought this wasn’t my game, I already support fierce women with my project. But the topic got me thinking, support instead of criticizing the women around you? Isn’t it insane that women criticize each other instead of complimenting and encouraging? Sad yes, but also true. Jealousy and envy are two great motives for women to throw each other in front of the bus, figuratively hey, not literally. Coincidentally, I wrote in a post a few days ago about how there are women who do not dare to be themselves. They fear the criticism from friends, the neighbors, the community, etc.
Fortunately, I also know that my work inspires and supports women, which compensates for all negativity—Bye-Bye haters.
I personally know little envy or jealousy towards the women around me and I still like to think that the competition between women becomes less with age because we become more confident. I always say, from my experience and from the women I speak with, getting older has many advantages. One of them is that you care less about opinions, what others think of you.
I am living proof of caring less by starting this project in which I play a significant role. If I hadn’t cared much less about other people’s opinions, I would never have been able to express myself so openly on social media. Of course, I get criticism about my work, my portraits, my appearance, and my opinions. Fortunately, I also know that my work inspires and supports women, which compensates for all negativity—bye-bye haters.
As for the critics, I can handle it, most days, that is. When I was younger, others’ opinions stopped me from doing certain things, but not anymore. Because hello, this is me, deal with it, or not.
Does criticizing each other really become less with age? Or do we simply care less about what someone else thinks of us and do it anyway? I welcomed and said goodbye to people during my life. Growing older and wiser, I learned that some people weren’t my people anymore, and others came on my path. I realized that my time is precious and that it shouldn’t be wasted on people that aren’t worth your time. Saying goodbye to what you thought were friends, isn’t easy. But sometimes it is necessary to make room in yourself and for someone new. And if you occasionally filter well, what is really important to you remains. That actually applies to all areas of your life.
I don’t like to see my friendships in numbers; the more, the better is certainly not the case for me. I believe in quality and not in quantity. I have a hand few close friends and, as we say in the Netherlands, a lot of acquaintances. Although I am also madly in love with most of my acquaintances, I spend most of my time with my best friends, because time is precious sometimes, and being a mother of a 4-year-old can be pretty time-consuming. 🙂
Keywords of my friendships are trust, respect, equality, understanding. But humor and the same interests are often the base of a good bond for me. What’s fascinating is that these interests change over the years, as some friendships change, and some just never do. But we all have different needs at different stages of our lives, right? Needless to say, but criticizing the women around you doesn’t benefit a healthy friendship. We all walk different paths and jealousy and envy never do so well in relationships.
And maybe, just maybe the disappointments in life and bitterness sometimes play a role? Hormonal changes, perhaps? It is certainly not easy to be a woman, I am the last one to claim that life is always easy. But that is precisely why girlfriends are so precious to share your life experiences with, at times. We can post B&W selfies and tag 50 badass women to show how supportive we are. Still, the actual empowerment of women is in the real world. Stop pushing each other in front of the bus and really support each other.
On this picture: my best friend Dayenne wearing H&M and Nike.
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