Vera and I have followed each other on Instagram since last year, but I met her in person at my event last January.
There was a Corona lockdown in between, but she finally stood in front of my lens a few weeks ago. Today, I am painting a portrait of this beautiful woman.
Tell us what you’d like us to know about yourself:
My name is Vera Marije, but everybody calls me Vera. I live in a little town near Amsterdam with Daan, my 51-year-old boyfriend of 20 years, and my 3 beautiful kids aged 14, 12, and 7.
There is not a day that goes by where I do not realize how fortunate I am because I happen to be a positive person by nature. Life has its lessons but I learned and experienced early on that having a positive perspective really helps to deal with them. For this, I am very grateful.
We just impulsively sold our beautiful home – a dream house for many but not for us. After having some really challenging times in our personal lives the last few years, we really felt it was time to reflect, rewrite the narratives, and chase the many dreams we have, but we kept on postponing. So I guess the coming year I will be working on those! I was shocked this decision triggered a lot of feedback. Some were inspired but others asked us how we could do this to our kids. Fortunately, we both feel that the place we live in does not define us as a family. We are a family, and we could live anywhere as long as we are together, so we will see what the future brings us.
Age does not stop me at all making bold decisions or moves in life, on the contrary, each year that I grow older, I become stronger, more confident and motivated to do it my way. I cherish each year that I can add to the calendar. It is a privilege. My mother was in poor health and quite young when she passed away, illnesses & death have been present all my life and although I expect I will become very old myself, should life decide differently, I do not want to have too many regrets.
What Do You Do for Work?
I was 8 years old when I wrote to my dad that I wanted to make people happy in life, and this is what I strive to do every day in my work. Now, I work as a strategic and trusted advisor for self-employed professionals, founders, brands, and startups. I also work as a professional coach with professionals and management in larger companies. I am passionate about my work and feel privileged to work for and with a beautiful clientele ranging from big international brands to inspiring individuals next door.
What’s your fantasy version of your older self?
When I think about myself I see myself commuting between different places, living in the country & city – probably even abroad. I do love the energy and high paced environment of city life, it works as fuel for my creativity but with the years I have developed a great appreciation of the countryside and nature as a whole. When I see my older self, I see myself surrounded by the people I love but also interacting with lots of new people, I love hosting and caring for people so the place I would call my home will probably have lots of space for people to stay. I do not think I will ever stop working, my work does not feel like work at all, but I hope I will have more time to be creative myself, painting, writing, creating, etc. that sort of thing.
If you could tweet something to your younger self, what would you say?
‘You are perfect just the way you are’ and ‘never forget that love, including self-love, comes unconditionally’
I could have really used this tweet when I was younger but as I am writing this, I feel I am writing this tweet to my daughter of 12. She is perfect, but she is at an age where projection and comparison are the norm. A nasty comment or remark with destructive impact is made so easily which is why I tell her every day she is just perfect the way she is. I teach her that a lot of people project their insecurities on others. What people think of you is more a reflection of their fears, triggers, and struggles then it is of your flaws. Life is about love, and true love comes unconditionally, First, it is self-love.
Personal growth is a work in progress and I believe everybody should work on loving themselves unconditionally, you cannot postpone loving yourself until you are 10 kilos less or have that job, are the perfect parent, friend, lover, or whatever. The same goes for loving others, the moment you realize you are trying to change a person before you can love them or a person tries to change you before you can be loved, you should realize this is not about love.
What’s the one thing you most hope for personally in the coming year?
My family’s health and happiness are what are most important to me. I wish for the world to be more balanced, and a little bit more time for me would be nice.
What are you Most Proud Of?
I am most proud of my 3 kids no doubt, every single day I learn from them and I am so grateful to be their mother. As for many women, becoming a mother has not been an easy path. Because of this, I made the decision to create a career that let me work around my kids’ lives & needs. That my kids turn into these wonderful individuals and that my career worked out so well is something I am also super proud of.
Greatest new discovery?
Walking 10 kilometers a day. I started this activity a few months ago because I really sat way too much time behind my screens. It takes 1 hour and 45 minutes every day but the reward is amazing. I walk with Daan or a friend and love the long talks as much as the beautiful nature that surrounds us.
Latest Google search?
A trend report on consuming less… we really have to learn how to be content with less…
Favorite thing to do when no one is around?
I have a creative mind and really really love daydreaming…. Always have and always will…
What’s your current age?
I am 46, turning 47 in June
Photography: Denise Boomkens
Styling: Dayenne Bekker
Hair and makeup: Eshter van Maanen
Vera is wearing Zara jeans and a shirt by Envii
