I wasted a lot of time during my 30s worrying about getting older. But when I think back to those concerns I can now speak from experience (being almost 45), you do not only change on the outside but also on the inside.
And that’s something I hardly ever hear anyone worry about in their 30s? I mean worry about how you change as a person as you get older on the inside, instead of how you look. I mainly hear concerns about appearance, and yes, those concerns are all true and part of lives circle of change. #selfacceptance
The younger years
Our society is focussing mainly on the outside, anti-aging no matter what. But don’t most women go through some sort of mental metamorphosis around their 40s? We spend our 20s and 30s building our friendships, careers, our families, and our marriages. We invest a lot of time and love in our lives – obviously, with the right intension, because we love what we do and we love our family and our friends. And then at this moment of your life, the start of our 40s or just after, we finally have a minute to sit back, to take a breath and look at ourselves and our lives.
The reality
Yesterday I sprained my ankle during an attempt to go running. I also tried three different facial moisturizers to reduce the appearance of fine lines (none of them helped). And again, found a few new grey hairs, thanks to Corona I stopped dying my hair, so now they grow out very obvious. I try to eat healthier than ever before, I try to make exercise a priority and I take all those vitamins of which people can’t shut up, and still I am aging … and fast too. I have trouble sleeping, it harder to lose weight, even though I give it a try once in a while, and let’s not even start about my period … it’s like being a teenager all over again, the PMS symptoms are back as never before. But overall, comparing myself to how I was mentally feeling when I was in my 30s (let’s not talk about my 20s…), I feel fantastic, most of the time.
And maybe the most valuable thing I learned over the past 2 years during this project; I am not alone.
Apart from some physical obstacles like perimenopause, I mentally feel a lot stronger. Where I still had a lot of doubts when I was almost 40, or just turned 40, a lot of things have already fallen into place. I found better ways to follow my heart, to get more energy, to feel happier in general, and how to generate the best connections and conversations with family, friends, colleagues, etc. I have learned to better define my boundaries, I can even draw a straight limit here and there. In my 30s I was still walking around with my feelings of guilt when I was prioritizing myself, I am doing much better nowadays. Although I have not yet won any medals, I am sure I will be a champion before I turn 50. And maybe the most valuable thing I learned over the past 2 years during this project; I am not alone.
The realization
Since I started AndBloom I have had many conversations about aging, with friends (of the same age), acquaintances, women in general, and women on Instagram. We all are in a very similar stage of our lives, mentally and physically, and what we feel is perfectly normal. Lot’s of female midlife subjects are not very openly discussed in our social circles, where it actually should be. And when topics are openly discussed, they become normalized. Like the fact that you generally feel more comfortable, confident, and happier as you get older. And that you, or at least I, wouldn’t trade any wrinkle or grey hair for how I metally felt when I was in my 30s (not to mention my 20s).
