When I was 17, I began my career as a fashion model. It started slowly in Holland, but as soon as I graduated, I stepped onto a train to Paris with two large suitcases and 300 guilders in my pocket.
It was a big adventure I felt compelled to pursue for many reasons, but that’s a story for another time.
One of the most valuable lessons I learned from that decision, and from nearly 20 years of solo travel primarily for work, is that being alone is truly good for my soul. Traveling and working alone taught me to stand on my own two feet. During my travels, I truly got to know myself—not just through the fun experiences, but especially through the loneliness. When you’re new in a city or country, you rely on yourself first and foremost. I made friends fairly quickly, but this wasn’t always the case. I often felt very lonely, yet this solitude also allowed me to feel deeply, and reflect.
For the past ten years, I’ve been a mother. I no longer travel as often or enjoy going away alone as much as I once did. But every time I get a moment to myself—even if it’s just half a day at the beach, a quiet walk through the city, or a solo coffee date—those old feelings bubble up again. Spending time alone has benefits that I now cherish even more than before.
Here are some of the greatest benefits I’ve discovered about spending time alone:
Self-Reliance and Independence
Being alone has taught me to rely on myself in ways I didn’t often experience in my everyday life. Navigating new places, making quick decisions, and managing the unexpected—these solo moments have helped me develop a quiet confidence that stays with me. I’ve learned to solve problems independently and trust my instincts, which is a truly empowering gift.
A Chance to Reconnect with Myself
In the busyness of life, it’s easy to lose touch with my own thoughts and needs. Solitude has given me the rare chance to reconnect. When I’m alone, I can tune out the noise and demands of others, making space to listen to my own inner voice. It’s a chance to reset, reflect, and recharge without distractions. Whether I’m sitting quietly with a cup of coffee or wandering through a city, being by myself creates a peaceful space to think deeply and focus on what matters most to me.
Embracing time alone is like reconnecting with an old friend—the friend I carry inside myself.
Building Resilience and Comfort in My Own Skin
Spending time alone has also helped me become more comfortable with myself. At first, solitude felt a bit uncomfortable, maybe even lonely, but over time, I’ve built resilience through it. I’ve come to enjoy my own company and recognize that I don’t need anyone else to complete me. This sense of self-assurance has allowed me to approach relationships, work, and life with greater confidence and a stronger sense of self-worth.
Creativity and New Perspectives
I’ve found that solitude is a powerful catalyst for creativity. Without the noise of others’ opinions or input, I’m free to think clearly and imagine new possibilities. In those quiet moments, ideas often emerge that might not have surfaced in a group setting. Being alone allows for a deeper, more reflective kind of creativity, especially when it comes to problem-solving and self-expression.
Reclaiming Joy in Small Moments
When I’m alone, I often notice the small, beautiful details that might otherwise go unnoticed—the warmth of the sun, the sound of the ocean, or the aroma of freshly brewed coffee. Spending time alone heightens my awareness of these moments, allowing me to savor and appreciate life in a way that’s harder to do when I’m surrounded by others. There’s a quiet joy in these simple experiences that feels deeply fulfilling.
Freedom from Expectations
Being alone gives me the freedom to make choices just for myself. I can explore at my own pace, change plans on a whim, or simply rest if that’s what I need. In solitude, there’s no pressure to meet others’ expectations, and that feels deeply liberating. It’s a rare opportunity to act in alignment with my own needs, to be entirely myself without compromise.
Embracing time alone is like reconnecting with an old friend—the friend I carry inside myself. Whether I’m traveling, working, or just taking a solo coffee break, these moments remind me that time spent with myself is invaluable. It’s an experience that feeds my soul, builds my self-confidence, and brings out the best in me. For me, those early solo journeys shaped my life in ways I still feel today. And as I find those small moments of solitude now, I’m grateful for what they continue to bring: peace, self-discovery, and a little spark of that original adventurous spirit.
SOLO DATE IDEAS
To get to know and love yourself, try spending time alone in places and activities that bring you comfort and reduce everyday stress.
Good for the soul
- Visit a museum
- Explore an art gallery
- Enjoy reading at a café
- Solve puzzles in a park
- Read a book
- take a course
- Visit the library and learn something new
Self-Care pampering
- Take a bubble bath
- Meditate in a peaceful garden
- Go for a nature walk
- Book a massage appointment
- Treat yourself to a mani-pedi
- Enjoy a home spa day
- Visit a private spa retreat
Play time
- Bake a cake
- Buy flowers and make a bouquet
- Create a vision board
- Write in a journal
- Take on a new hobby
- Go on a photography walk
- Make art
Move your body
- Long walks in nature
- Plan a solo road trip to a nearby town
- Have a picnic in a serene spot
- Attend a yoga class
- Try a gym trial session
Places to Visit
- Watch a movie at the cinema
- Explore a castle or historical town
- Wander through botanical gardens or a flower shop
- Enjoy a meal at a nice restaurant
- Have coffee and cake by yourself
- Take a pottery class
- Explore a new city or town
- Stroll through a shopping mall
