The older I get, the more beautiful and loving I find myself. sounds awful narcissistic huh? But it is certainly not meant in a narcissistic way, it has much more to do with self-acceptance.
Most young women don’t look forward to getting older, that’s a simple truth. Considering society’s general attitude toward aging, it’s pretty easy to understand why. But the really amazing things about reaching your fourt, fifth, sixth decade (and beyond) is, in my opinion, far too little talked about. There is a huge desire for youth, but the real beauty is, I think, in life experience and (self-) acceptance.
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Yesterday I was present at my best friend’s wedding. A beautiful emotional day where all her best friends were present. A small group of women, between the ages of 40 and 60, each and every one of them beautiful women. I experienced the day not only as a guest but, also as an observer, because of “my personal journey into aging” I always view an event slightly differently.
What became clear to me once more on this special day, is that women over 40 ROCK (yes, with CAPITAL letters to express myself even more clearly). During special occasions, such as this wedding party, they ROCK far more than women in their 20s, in their 30s. Yesterday was magic, these women laughed exuberantly, danced like there was no tomorrow, confidently, without shame, with each other, celebrating friendship, life and love.
There is a huge desire for youth, but the real beauty is, I think, in life experience and (self-) acceptance.
When we reach the age of 40 (and beyond), most of us stop striving to be perfect and put unrealistic expectations on ourselves, crazy expectations that can lead to many frustrations. The older we get, the wiser we get about recognizing imperfection is beautiful. I spent so much of my 20s and 30s getting hurt and offended by other people or worrying about what other people thought of me. Nowadays I have people around me who love me, I choose to only be with people that lift me up, instead of pull me down.
Maybe even more importantly, I made it my most important life task to learn to love myself. I wish I had known when I was a young woman what I know now about self talk. I am so much kinder to myself at 44 than I was back in the days and I am so much happier right now! We are 100 percent responsible for our own feelings and we have the power to redirect our thoughts into positive ones that actually build us up—and in return you can build others up and develop wonderful friendships with other like-minded people.
My best friend’s girlfriends, yesterday at the wedding, were far from perfect. By the standards of our society, they were all imperfect, too old, too small, too tall, too big, too skinny with, too short, too thin or thick hair, big boobs, or too small, feet, teeth, eyes, ears, etc, etc, etc. But they’ve all openly given up the notion that happiness exists within a certain shape or size. They own their bodies, their (fine) lines, their life story. And they own their friendship. And there is nothing more beautiful than a woman confident in her own skin, loving life, feeling beautiful.
Observing this small group of women and looking at my own tribe I came to the conclusion that women over 40 (and beyond) are also way better friends. We no longer base our friendships on popularity, there no longer is competition, we base our friendships more and more on love and respect. Real friends are the ones that are there on your wedding, but also during difficult time. Friends drop everything and bring a bottle of wine, ice cream, and tissues to your place in a time of need or dance the night away when there is something wonderful to celebrate like a beautiful marriage. And last but definitely not least, true friends accept you as you are, which will ultimately help you in your own self acceptance process, so a win-win situation.
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