Thank you for reading my words. Over here, I share my journey into aging and the different aspects involved.
aging is accompanied by many changes, beautiful changes but also sometimes difficult changes. One important aspect of change is the perimenopause as a run-up to the menopause. I am not a perimenopause expert nor an expert by experience. If you need medical advice there are plenty of great professional women that can help you.
QUARANTINE (perimeno)PAUSE
Quarantine gives the concept of time a completely different meaning. Suddenly I have more time to stand still and listen to my thoughts, heart, and body. There is more room to feel and to notice things about myself that I would typically ignore or sweep away. When this pandemic started, I stayed at home and had many projects to keep me busy. But over the passing weeks, those projects lost my interest, and simplicity took over.
Last year August, I first wrote a post about my discovery of the term perimenopause after I began to notice some physical and mental changes. I had never heard of the term perimenopause before back then. I had no idea that it was the phase before the actual menopause (the day you stopped having your period for good). I was shocked to find out that it starts for most women around the age of 45 and that it can last up to 10 years before you reach actual menopause. Not to mention the troublesome and slightly unsexy 34 common symptoms list…
The beginning of the end of my fertile phase started, and right now, it feels like an excruciatingly slow and uncomfortable process saying farewell.
Yesterday, after struggling with how I feel every month for about a year now, I suddenly realized that this is real. No, this is not a sad story, my body is changing, and because I now have more time to reflect on what I feel … My hormone balance is completely changing, and sometimes I hardly recognize myself. I mean, physically. Very sore breasts, dry eyes, skin , and hair, a bloated, often painful stomach. And before ovulation (because I still am) I’m pretty durable. Still, the phase afterward is new to me.
A few days after ovulating, I sleep differently, my mood swings pick up, and my skin gets troubled. My cycles still last around 28 days but can vary from a day or 2 shorter or longer. But for nearly 14 days, I have been sitting on my quarantine couch at home with a body that I do not know. The oddest thing suddenly crossed my mind yesterday; not too long from now, I will never be able to have another child. Apart from the fact that I wanted to have another child or not, the realization made me sad. The beginning of the end of my fertile phase started, and right now, it feels like an excruciatingly slow and uncomfortable process of saying farewell.
THE LIST
Now, when I reread the list below I wrote in my first post about perimenopause last August, I realize I have about 10 symptoms now. Some are worse than others and not every month the same.
[one_half]
1. Hot Flashes
2. Irregular Periods
3. Fatigue
4. Memory Lapses
5. Night Sweats
6. Loss of Libido
7. Vaginal Dryness
8. Mood Swings
9. Panic Disorder
10. Urinary Tract Infection
11. Bloating
12. Hair Loss or Thinning or Dry
13. Sleep Disorders
14. Dizziness
15. Weight Gain
16. Incontinence
17. Headaches [/one_half] [one_half_last]18. Burning Tongue
19. Digestive Problems
20. Muscle Tension
21. Allergies
22. Brittle Nails
23. Body Odor Change
24. Itchy Skin
25. Osteoporosis
26. Tingling Extremities
27. Insomnia
28. Difficulty Concentrating
29. Irregular Heartbeat
30. Anxiety
31. Depression
32. Breast Pain
33. Joint Pain
34. Electric Shock Sensation[/one_half_last]
I decided to embrace, accept, and see this phase in my life as a new beginning, but first I have to say goodbye to the previous one. I realized yesterday that this probably will not happen by itself. That saying goodbye will need a little more ‘feeling.’
I regularly hear women say that perimenopause is like puberty in reverse, and that worries me a bit. 🙂 What I am very grateful for right now is that we can now talk openly about perimenopause with the women around me. I am sure that through the AndBloom Instagram community, I will receive a lot of support from women who went through or are going through the same. We are never alone, even if it sometimes feels that way during this quarantine #stayhome.
