This is a personal blog about how I experience the sudden and fairly unexpected truth of my own aging process after experiencing unknown symptoms and discovering the term perimenopause. Perimeno what??? PERIMENOPAUSE!!!

(Warning: stop reading if you are not into details…)

A new phase in life…

It started a few months ago, or that is when I started to clearly notice some changes. I couldn’t put my finger on what exactly changed, but I felt different, less joyful (I am normally a positive type of girl). More mood swings (I can be a moody bitch but this moody? Really?). Painful ovulations and bloating (hello belly…?). PMS (like never before, feeling completely awful and realizing my period is about to start in a few days). On some days very tired (I had no idea what being tired meant until now) but without melatonin NO sleep. And crazy painful boobs (ouch!).

My menstrual cycles seem to be increasingly unpredictable. They were always 27/28 days with (heavy) periods that lasted no longer than 5 days. Last month I thought it was time to ovulate (day 14), felt a terrible stomach pain and suddenly had to run to the nearest store to buy sanitary napkins. My period started and lasted for 4 days. The month before that, 3 days late on my period, I am never-ever-ever-ever late, so I thought for a brief moment that I was pregnant, which would have been a miracle on its own. That period lasted for 8 long horrible days (very heavy with lots of blood clots).

“But these new, unknown physical and mental changes worry me, life as it was is about to change and there are more and more days that I don’t feel 37 but older.”

Proof of aging

When I look in the mirror, I see a woman instead of the girl I used to be. I look a bit older than I feel because on most days I feel 37. I turned 44 last month and that is exactly what my reflexion in the mirror tells me that I am. But these new, unknown physical and mental changes worry me, life as it was is about to change and there are more and more days that I don’t feel 37 but older. Almost every symptom I search is answered by Google with a link to the term perimenopause, a term I never heard before. The menopause, yes of course, I am familiar with that term, the menopause is when you stop having your period which goes together with a few hot flashes when you are in your 50s. Right?

But apparantly there is a potentially very long phase before the menopause, a phase called perimenopause, with a troublesome and unsexy 34 common symptoms list…

1.  Hot Flashes

2.  Irregular Periods

3.  Fatigue

4.  Memory Lapses

5.  Night Sweats

6.  Loss of Libido

7.  Vaginal Dryness

8.  Mood Swings

9.  Panic Disorder

10. Urinary Tract Infection

11. Bloating

12. Hair Loss or Thinning or Dry

13. Sleep Disorders

14. Dizziness

15. Weight Gain

16. Incontinence

17. Headaches

18. Burning Tongue

19. Digestive Problems

20. Muscle Tension

21. Allergies

22. Brittle Nails

23. Body Odor Change

24. Itchy Skin

25. Osteoporosis

26. Tingling Extremities

27. Insomnia

28. Difficulty Concentrating

29. Irregular Heartbeat

30. Anxiety

31. Depression

32. Breast Pain

33. Joint Pain

34. Electric Shock Sensation

When I first counted my symptoms (16 to start with…) I felt totally cheated by life: “Are you serious? I feel like this because of that?” After 30 years of painful periods (endometriosis), a new phase of hormonal drama? Just when I thought that it was all getting a bit easier, it turns out that is not the case. And why no one warned me that this was coming?

The facts

Perimenopause starts for the average woman around the age of 45 and lasts up until menopause. The average length of perimenopause is 4 years, for some women it lasts only a few months, but for some it can continue for 10 years! Perimenopause ends when a woman has gone 12 months without having her period, after that you are in the menopause (and, sit tight, then there is postmenopause…).

I had no idea! Did you?

“NOT SEXY? Now that I finally start to feel comfortable in my own skin (and care less about what others think of me), my body will go through some significant and drastic unsexy changes?”

Seeking for advice

It all sounds intimidating to me, very depressing and far from sexy. Turning to my Instagram tribe for some real answers, it turns out to be a rather lively subject that many women have questions about or answers to. Hooray once more for Instagram, how wonderful to receive some genuine advice from women all over the world. Women that already went through this phase, are starting like me or are in the middle of it.

But it makes me wonder why there is so much content about the subject and why are we so poorly informed? Several women respond to my Instagram post and confirm my first thought. Menopause (or rather its symptoms) is something that many women are apparently ashamed of. It is simply not talked about because it’s not sexy. Not sexy? How do you mean, NOT SEXY? Now that I finally start to feel comfortable in my own skin (and care less about what others think of me), my body will go through some significant and drastic unsexy changes?

Ok, the list of 34 common symptoms studied again and looking at my own physical (and mental) changes, I slowly start to understand it a bit better. A tired woman with thinning hair, brittle nails, changing body odor, night sweats, itchy skin, vaginal dryness, feeling dizzy with scary mood swings, flurries of anxiety and depressions… doesn’t sound very sexy. I suddenly feel the urge to scream…

Talk to your mom

I can be brief about this. My lovely mom turned 70 last April and still has the occasional hot flash and some other symptoms. No rosy prospect. Not that she was an open book about it. She’s from the generation “you just don’t talk (=complain) about it”. And I am sure she thought she was doing me a favor not to complain about her symptoms when I was a hormonal rebellious teenager. One follower wrote: you are not your mother, so there is a chance that your transition will be exactly the opposite. There is hope.

Real advice from real women

NOTEThis next chapter is based on the advice I received from my Instagram followers. It’s not medically supported (by me or my followers) but based on personal experiences. I am writing them down to give you some inspiration on what to look for when you are in the same phase I am. It might also help you. I looked up every advice I got and wrote them down with a short Google explanation. I advise you to do a lot of research yourself, or ask your doctor for medical advice.

A lot of women left a comment on my Instagram post, and what was mostly adviced was a healthy lifestyle. Something to consider when going through any phase of life, of course, but apparently especially during this one, because it can help or prevent women to have hot flashes (and other symptoms). If you think about it, it’s completely logical, you are what you eat. When I tried to conceive a few years ago, I was totally in balance, nutrition, exercise but also mentally healthy and happy. This next phase of life will be easier to go through if I will treat my body as if preparing for a pregnancy. #GOAL

A few interesting tips all based on the personal experiences of my followers:

Many women advised a mainly plant based diet, to add more protein, omega-3 fatty acids, fiber and calcium to your diet. Beside adding also a few goodbye’s, saturated fats, highly refined carbohydrates and (ohhhh noooo…) caffeine. During the transition, the hormone estrogen begins to decline, disrupting your normal cyclical patterns of estrogen and progesterone. So important to choose your diet well.

Things to eat and drink that can help prevent symptoms:

• Lots of vegetables and fruits. Your metabolism slows down as you get older, and women in their mid-forties tend to become more sedentary. This all adds up to weight gain, one of the most dreaded menopause symptoms. By filling up on low-calorie fruits and vegetables, you can help minimize weight gain while getting the nutrients you need to stay healthy.
• Drink a lot of water. Vaginal dryness and dry skin caused by a decrease in estrogen during menopause are common complaints among women at this time, but getting eight glasses of water a day can help maintain your skin’s moisture and offset dryness.
• Whole grains. Some whole grains, such as steel-cut oatmeal, quinoa, barley, and brown rice, provide B vitamins — which help boost energy, manage stress, and keep the digestive system functioning
• Iron. Your iron needs actually go down during menopausal years so focusing on eating lean cuts of beef, eggs, iron-rich cereals, and grains should put enough in your diet.
• Flaxseed. Flaxseed is a wonderful plant-based food with omega-3 fatty acids. Try sprinkling ground flaxseed on cereal, yogurt, and salads; it adds fiber to your diet, keeps your arteries healthy, and has some estrogen-like compounds.
• Sage tea. If you’re suffering from minor flashes, if you just get the odd hot flush now and again, then you can have a cup or two of sage tea a day.
• Red Clover tea. Used primarily to treat hot flashes and night sweats in women with menopause, red clover has also been used to treat high blood pressure, improve bone strength, and boost immunity. It’s generally considered safe. Red clover contains phytoestrogens, a plant-based form of estrogen, which helps to improve the hormonal imbalances caused by menopause.

Supplements for the empty stocks and to ease symptoms:

• Evening primrose oil. One of the most popular remedies for menopausal changes. Can offer relief from a number of menopausal symptoms, such as hot flashes, night sweats, difficulty sleeping, vaginal dryness, and disturbance in mood.
• Calcium. Your calcium needs increase during menopause because the loss of estrogen can speed up bone loss.
• Vitamin D. Getting enough vitamin D is also critical for protecting your bones during menopause. Vitamin D comes from the sun, but many experts say it’s vital for women’s health to take a vitamin D supplement to ensure you’re getting enough, especially in winter and in non-sunny climates.
• Dong quai. Helps to balance and regulate estrogen levels in women going into menopause, reducing or improving them depending on your hormonal imbalances.
• Black cohosh. Has been found to reduce vaginal dryness and hot flashes in menopausal women.
• Vitamin E. A supplement which may help ease stress during perimenopause. Stress can increase the risk of heart disease, obesity and depression.
• B vitamins. Include thiamine, niacin, B12 and folic acid, are often referred to as the ‘stress’ vitamins. There are many symptoms of B vitamin deficiency, and these include tension, irritability, difficulty managing stress, poor concentration, and anxiety.
• DHEA. Perimenopause and low DHEA levels go hand in hand, and by increasing your DHEA levels you can significantly improve your symptoms.
• Bioidentical progesterone cream. Progesterone cream is a form of hormone replacement therapy (HRT) designed to help relieve perimenopausal symptoms.

If you need any more information about the above nutritional advice and/or supplements I recommend you to contact your medical adviser or doctor.

“Even though it can be a tough phase for many women, apparently there is light at the end of the tunnel, even though no one can tell us in advance how long that tunnel is.”

Other things that can reduce the symptoms:

There were women who recommended Chinese medicine, acupuncture, Yoga, mindfulness, Meditation, Mild Exercise, SLEEP! Some mention that perimenopause is like puberty in reverse (ohhh help…).

Maybe most important advice: EMBRACE THAT WHAT IS COMING. Even though it can be a tough phase for many women, apparently there is light at the end of the tunnel, even though no one can tell us in advance how long that tunnel is.

A few women recommend the books by Dr. Christiane Northrup: “She is a visionary pioneer and a leading authority in the field of women’s health and wellness, which includes the unity of mind, body, emotions, and spirit. Northrup wrote many books and also a few about perimenopause.” You can find the information on her website: www.drnorthrup.com.

My Dutch followers advice the book “Te Lijf” by Isa & Medina: “A book written for the 40+ woman. This woman often has a family and a busy job. Is at the center of life. She has many caring duties for children, her parents, and the people around her. She usually puts herself in the last place and has trouble planning time for herself. It is at the beginning of the “transition”, is in the middle of it, or has already gone through it. On to a new phase in her life!” A must-read, but only in Dutch: www.isamedina.com.

These books help to better understand what our bodies go through, and maybe help us to handle this phase more positively.

One follower pointed out she went to a transition consultant, together with a few girlfriends, which was very helpful.

All the above advice is based on natural solutions to relieve symptoms and to improve health. There is also the possibility of hormone replacement therapy (HRT) to help you during this phase. These can be prescribed by your medical doctor or advisor. So there are countless possibilities to get help to get through this phase if it going to get rough. Which is, even though I am far from ready for the perimenopause, a reassurance.

Here’s a link to the Instagram post I am referring to: go here for the post