I don’t remember when it was exactly, but it started after I turned 40. I am not sure if it was a natural process or if it happened due to situations where the world (or people in it) tried to pull my leg or even hurt me. It’s likely a combination of both.
It becomes easier and easier to see through certain things or people, like a trained eye, to see shit coming right at you from miles away and get less impressed by people trying to impress you with unimpressive stuff.
Becoming older brings a lot more wisdom and strength, but… does strength resemble bitter? Is being wise and strong a sign that one gave up trying? That one chose to find comfort in the idea that the life they set up works against them instead of putting some courage and work into finding more happiness.
I have a chance at happiness, but that doesn’t mean it’s always easy. It comes hand in hand with making peace with the past at a certain point in life and stopping licking the wounds of the past.
Reading about a deeper meaning of illness, I also know that untreated trauma can eventually have its effects on health. So, I am planning to look some of my demons in the eyes again in this new year. I firmly believe that letting go is a big part of living a happy life.
But is letting go the same as processing trauma? I don’t believe so. I think I have some work to do (who doesn’t…). And although some things scare the hell out of me, I will before they continue to make me skeptical and maybe even bitter.
One more resolution for 2024 is to keep facing the future with an open mind, striving not to be overly distrustful, and allowing myself to be impressed by the beauty and marvel of life’s impressive unexpected.
How I plan to deal with my unprocessed trauma’s and heartache
I Recognize the Trauma: I acknowledge that I’ve experienced trauma in my youth, it’s okay to feel the way I do and my feelings are valid.
I Acknowledge My Feelings: I allow myself to feel and express my emotions, as suppressing them can prolong the healing process.
I Build a Support System: I surround myself with friends and family who provide emotional support and understanding.
Mindfulness and Meditation: I practice mindfulness to stay present and manage overwhelming thoughts and emotions.
Self-Care: I prioritize self-care practices, including exercise, proper nutrition, and adequate rest, to support my physical and emotional well-being.
Journaling: I keep a journal to express my thoughts and feelings, gain insight into my emotions, and track my healing progress.
I Release Through Art or Creativity: I use my emotional creativity to make art, photographs, paintings, or write to channel and express my emotions.
I Set Boundaries: I strive to establish healthy boundaries with triggers or situations that may worsen my trauma or grief.
Forgiveness: I consider forgiveness as a path to release resentment and anger, but remember it’s a personal process.
Time and Patience: I understand that healing takes time; I will be patient with myself and allow the process to unfold at its own pace.
I wish you all a beautiful, healthy, and self-loving New Year.