What is the strangest thing about aging?
Most of the time, you feel the same as, let’s say, 30 years ago, but when you look in the mirror see that there have been some changes. Suddenly physical things happen that didn’t occur before. Like the first time I woke up feeling “rigid,” for instance, shortly after my 50th. I started working out the same day, and even liked it! Recently appeared, wear and tear on my spinal vertebra. Me, an invincible strong woman, starting to decay!? I was a little overwhelmed, but it was quite common. I had no idea! Although, I don’t really notice it in my day-to-day life, I decided to take it a little easier…
What are you most proud of?
I’m proud of the fact that after being self-employed for over 30 years…
Managed to raise two children of my own, bought a home by myself, and still don’t depend on anything or anyone. I’ve a great need for freedom and autonomy. Of course, I’ve been supported by friends and family, I also love people, but I’m a sentimentalist and can’t do anything that goes against my gut. Indubitably not, now that I am getting older. It hasn’t always been easy, and it won’t be in the future either.
What are you ashamed of?
I’ve had a period that work was my priority, my first concern. In that period, I didn’t go to the wedding of one of my youth friends, for example. When I gave birth, I realized more than ever what matters in life. Work is essential, but the people surrounding you are more important!
What do you regret most?
That at some stages in my life I let things happen, shut my mouth and didn’t stand up for myself. In relationships as well as in work. Fortunately, that’s something that changes as you get older: you can gently and calmly articulate what you feel. At least, slightly better than ever.
What are you afraid of?
That my dream to travel is just an illusion. Due to my self-employment and financial responsibility for 2 kids, didn’t always have the means to get away. I still want to see so much experience! I do everything in my control to stay in shape, as it’s indispensable for all that I still have planned. That body must contribute! I’d rather not be independent. I also have a cyberphobia. Haha, in a manner of speaking. The usage doesn’t come naturally, and I’m glad I hardly need it for my work!
Tell us more about youself!
Oops, well, I don’t know if I should share my deepest feelings with you, but small talk isn’t that difficult. I must think about this. I’m ambitious and independent, and people describe me as energetic and cheerful. But, of course, there’s always the seam side. I can isolate and confine myself like a hermit; it sometimes comes close to depression. I need it to charge myself. Everything touches me deeply. Someone drew me to the fact that I’m an HSP (highly sensitive person). When I came to understand that, a whole lot of pennies dropped. As a result, I can only handle a limited amount of impressions. After an eventful day, I should always plan a moment of rest. “The processing.” It can keep me up at night if I don’t do it!
Consequently, I’m very concerned about my balance. Because I want to do, see and experience too much. Still…
What is your most outstanding achievement?
Haha: well, I believe giving birth to my two babies, nine pounds each, at home. Wow, that really was something. I could also talk about taking the plunge to become a make-up artist. I lived a comfortable life as a hairdresser, running my own business, but I gave up on EVERYTHING to start all over again around my 30th. I no longer had a home, maintaining a car, or a partner—only myself. From my last bit of money, I went to NYC to intern in the freelance world. At Christiaan, my most significant example, and others. When I came back, I found somewhere to live anti-squatting (basically the legal version of squatting in the Netherlands) and set myself new goals. When I was forty, I had everything: built up a career, married my husband, brought two kids into the world, and bought a house. Although, I see it all more as something that was expected. So, well, is that an achievement?
What does your career look like now?
Back in the day, and still sometimes, it’s stimulated to specialize in one thing. You’ll be valued a little more if you stand out in one thing. Through the years, I discovered, that I could maintain my job because I am widely oriented. An ex sometimes called me the “seven-complex”. I like a lot of things, but don’t outshine one specifically. I decided to expand my profession as a hairdresser and make-up artist. I’d been considering it for a while, and as the kids got older, finally found the space for doing so. I want to write, photograph, and be a model myself. These are my new challenges. In addition, I’ll keep cutting people, do their make-up and work self-employed for clients. I also feel an enormous desire to prove that you’re still in the loop after 50. On paper, you are an “older woman”. In reality, age is just something in your mind. We must get rid of these entrenched thoughts! You can still make career switches, fall in love, dream, chase dreams and achieve them. Those are the things that make me happy!
Our parents were often of a generation that couldn’t do it, and conversed that to us. Times have changed. Everybody can do what they want. Let’s support each other with these sometimes-difficult decisions. Approach them positively and support the initiative takers, who want to do things “differently”. If it’s none else’s disadvantage or causes harm, why wouldn’t you? I’m a person who poorly handles securities. I preferably throw them overboard to create space for new things. There’s probably enough reason and explanation behind, as to WHY, but perhaps I still have another 50 years to find out!
What would you tweet to your younger self?
I would repeat what my mother always told me, but often didn’t get through:
“Don’t fret, things always take their own turn.” I was always worried about the things that automatically fell into place.
This entire period of “awareness”, being “mind full” didn’t exist in former days. I often find younger people so wise. I didn’t know the things they know at that age. It’s something remarkable!
What I do want to encourage young people is: “don’t rush”. “Don’t let them push your buttons”. Certainly, considering the number of burn-outs. You have your whole life to achieve and accomplish, and many of you will get to 100! Accept that you get older. It’s not a bad thing, the contrary, it’s often very pleasant! Neither wrinkles, nor grey hair will make you stop. Just let it happen.
