What is the strangest thing about aging?
Most of the time, you feel the same as, let’s say, 30 years ago, but when you look in the mirror, you see that there have been some changes. Suddenly, physical things happen that didn’t occur before. For instance, the first time, I woke up feeling “rigid” shortly after my 50th. I started working out the same day and even liked it! Recently, I had wear and tear on my spinal vertebra. Me, an invincible, strong woman, starting to decay!? I was a little overwhelmed, but it was quite common. I had no idea! Although I don’t notice it daily, I decided to take it a little easier…
What are you most proud of?
I’m proud that after being self-employed for over 30 years, I managed to raise two children, bought a home by myself, and still don’t depend on anything or anyone. I’ve a great need for freedom and autonomy. Of course, I’ve been supported by friends and family. I also love people, but I’m a sentimentalist and can’t do anything that goes against my gut. Indubitably not, now that I am getting older. It hasn’t always been easy, and it won’t be in the future either.
What are you ashamed of?
I’ve had a period when work was my priority, my first concern. For example, I didn’t go to the wedding of one of my youth friends. When I gave birth, I realized more than ever what matters. Work is essential, but the people surrounding you are more important!
What do you regret most?
At some stages, I let things happen, shut my mouth, and didn’t stand up for myself. In relationships as well as in work. Fortunately, that’s something that changes as you get older: you can gently and calmly articulate what you feel. At least, it’s slightly better than ever.
What are you afraid of?
That my dream of traveling is just an illusion. Due to my self-employment and financial responsibility for two kids, I didn’t always have the means to get away. I still want to see so much experience! I do everything I can to stay in shape, as it’s indispensable for everything I still have planned. That body must contribute! I’d rather not be independent. I also have a cyber phobia. Haha, in a manner of speaking. The usage doesn’t come naturally, and I’m glad I hardly need it for my work!
Tell us more about yourself!
I don’t know if I should share my deepest feelings with you, but small talk isn’t easy either. I must think about this. I’m ambitious and independent, and people describe me as energetic and cheerful. But, of course, there’s always the seam side. I can isolate and confine myself like a hermit, it sometimes comes close to a depression. I need it to charge myself. Everything touches me deeply. Someone drew me to the fact that I’m an HSP (highly sensitive person). When I came to understand that, a whole lot of pennies dropped. As a result, I can only handle a limited amount of impressions. After an eventful day, I should always plan a moment of rest. “The processing”. It can keep me up at night if I don’t do it!
Consequently, I’m very concerned about my balance. Because I want to do, see, and experience too much. Still…
What is your greatest achievement?
Well, I believe giving birth to my two babies of, nine pounds each at home. Wow, that was something. I could also talk about taking the plunge to become a make-up artist. I lived a comfortable life as a hairdresser, running my own business, but I gave up on EVERYTHING to start all over again around my 30th. I no longer had a home, a car, or a partner—only myself. From my last bit of money, I went to NYC to intern in the freelance world. At Christiaan, my most excellent example, and others. When I returned, I found somewhere to live, anti-squatting (basically the legal version of squatting in the Netherlands), and I set new goals. When I was forty-one, I had everything: I built up a career and a relationship, brought two kids into the world, and bought a house. Although, I see it all more as something that was expected. So, well, is that an achievement?
What does your career look like now?
Back in the day, and still, sometimes it is stimulated to specialize in one thing. You’ll be valued a little more if you stand out in one thing. I discovered I could maintain my job through the years because I am widely oriented. An ex-boyfriend used to call me the “seven-complex.” I like many things, but I don’t excel in a specific thing. I decided to expand my profession as a hairdresser and makeup artist. I liked that profession for a while, and as the kids got older, I finally found the space. I like to write, photograph, and be a model myself. These are my new challenges. Besides that, I’ll keep grooming people, doing their makeup, and working as a freelancer. I also want to prove that you’re still in the loop after turning 50. On paper, you are an “older woman”. In reality, age is just something in your mind. We must get rid of these narrow-minded thoughts! You can still make career switches, fall in love, dream, chase dreams, and achieve them. Those are the things that make me happy!
Our parents were often of a generation that couldn’t do it and conversed with us. Times have changed. Everybody can do what they want. Let’s support each other with these sometimes difficult decisions. Approach them positively and support the initiative takers, who want to do things “differently”. Why wouldn’t you if it’s one else’s disadvantage or causes harm? I’m a person who poorly handles securities. I preferably throw them overboard to create space for new things. There’s probably enough reason and explanation behind WHY, but perhaps I still have another 50 years to find out!
What would you tweet to your younger self?
I would repeat what my mother always told me but often didn’t get through:
“Don’t fret, things always take their own turn.” I was always worried about the things that automatically fell into place.
This entire period of “awareness” and ” mindfulness” didn’t exist in former days. I often find younger people so wise. I didn’t know the things they knew at that age. It’s remarkable!
What I do want to encourage young people to do is “don’t rush” and “Don’t let them push your buttons.” Certainly, considering the number of burnouts, you have your whole life to achieve and accomplish, and many of you will get to 100! Accept that you get older. It’s not a bad thing; on the contrary, it’s often very pleasant! Neither wrinkles nor gray hair will make you stop. Just let it happen.
Credits:
Concept and photography by Denise Boomkens
Makeup and hair by Esther van Maanen
Model Manous @ Max Models Special
- Photo 1: dress by AGENT PROVOCATEUR earrings by LOTT. GIOIELLI
- Photo 2: blouse by GANNI earrings by ISABEL MARANT
- Photo 3: sweater by LES COYOTES DE PARIS earrings by SWAROVSKI
- Photo 4: jewelry by SWAROVSKI
- Photo 5: dress by AGENT PROVOCATEUR earrings by LOTT. GIOIELLI
- Photo 6: veil by PHASE EIGHT ring by SWAROVSKI
- Photo 7: sweater by LES COYOTES DE PARIS earrings and ring by SWAROVSKI
- Photo 8: top by AGENT PROVOCATEUR earrings by SWAROVSKI
