Tell us what you’d like us to know about yourself:
I’m finding out so much about myself every day that I’m tempted to say “I am more than that”.
But some data for now: My name is Ligia, goddess of music and a name given to mermaids. It was always my dream to be able to sing, so I decided to start singing lessons 3 years ago. I’m telling you this because it defines me. I don’t leave things in my head, but I act on them. It may take time, but I do act on them.
I’m a mom, and my best version is with my three kids. I’m a wife with all my love. I’m a teacher with all my soul. I’m a passionate and creative type. I’m an artist and I love to transform people, including myself.
I’m been curious since birth and I’m a ritualistic person. I’m a dreamer and a believer.
What do you do for work?
I’m the CEO of in2motivation, an international coaching and training company. I can fly very well between these two worlds, which for many people are miles apart.
“I’m the spiritual business guru”, as some of my clients call me.
I can be creative and very structured and straight to the point.
I love people and I love to support their best life.
For me, love is not a relationship, but is what makes us. Love is a force of existence.
Ligia
What can you tell us about love?
Well, I wrote a book all about it, so I think I can tell you a lot ☺
I started around 12 years ago with my project “Love is simple”. I was fascinated by how people see love. Many are still conditioned by the Disney culture: either you are a princess who wants to be safe or a princess that fights dragons, but you’re never a woman that wants to give and take love but doesn’t need it. This for me is a fundamental difference. Some people are looking for love because they need it. The healthy way to love is to not need it but to want it.
With my husband, I found out that for 32 years I was thinking about myself as an independent woman (no one’s wife), but when I met him and we started our relationship I realized that I was not independent, but just alone. I didn’t trust anyone and I was better alone. With Peter I had the space to open my heart; any conversation was allowed, even those that hurt, and those that made us feel insecure. We had no secrets.
We decided to stay together not because we needed each other, but because we genuinely appreciated and admired each other.
For me, love is not a relationship, but is what makes us. Love is a force of existence. But we tend to see love as a relationship: it can be romantic or fraternal, but it is still expressed as an relationship.
A relationship is not love, but a contract (explicit or implicit). I know this sounds brutal, but it is better that I connect with this reality. Because the strangest thing is that I see a lot of confusion and even frustration with the concept of “unconditional love”. If you are expressing love in a relationship, it can never be unconditional, because this contradicts the world and meaning of a relationship. Unconditional love is only possible as a force (energy) of existence.
To make things a little bit clearer, love is a force, and we express that force when we connect with people. This means that the quality of my relationships will be connected by the force of love that I can express. And yes, we need to take account of big barriers like education, culture, trauma, and past experiences. Some people have never felt the force of love.
I remember one man I worked with that, since he was conceived, had always had the reference of pain. He no longer remembered this force of love, until we did a hypnosis session and he could connect with it again.
Love is transformational and stays after someone’s physical death.
What would you say is the strangest thing about becoming an older woman?
People saying what is good for my age. That is so strange for me. The older I get, the less I care about what people think or tell me to do. It is a little bit ridiculous that they still try to manipulate me, right? Normally what happens is that I keep a long silence, and then they say: well, you know better what is best for you. (It always works!)
You are Portuguese, living in Amsterdam, what are the differences between life in Portugal and the Netherlands.
I was born in Portugal. I tend to say that that doesn’t make me Portuguese. I have never felt a full fit with Portuguese culture, even if my husband says that I have a lot of fado in my soul.
There are a lot of differences and of course not everything is good in one place. I feel more space in Amsterdam to be me: for the creative part and also more to explore new things. The rhythm of life also supports that. But I miss the emotional side of Portuguese people. Being a mom in Amsterdam is also much easier than in Portugal. Here you can be a mom: you have time for that. In Portugal, moms work full time, from 9am to 6pm or 7pm, and have no time to just be with their kids.
They are superwomen indeed. As a professional, it is also easier to be in a culture that is more horizontal, with less power distance. Portugal is still very much a man’s culture. The Netherlands still has a lot of masculine energy in my view, but I feel much better than in Portugal.
Do you have regrets in life?
Curiously, I just had a conversation with my oldest daughter, who is 14, about this. I don’t have regrets. If I have anything that I don’t feel proud of, I go and I say sorry. If I don’t like something I say it. I really make peace with myself by sometimes correcting something that was not ideal.
Not too long ago, I found out that I’m one of those rare people that doesn’t have any Karma. This was during a karma reading by a Chinese master. I think not having regrets is a reflection of that.
What does your life look like in the next six months?
Love and living. My husband left this physical world in June. I’m now loving our love and connection even more. I’m also realizing that I’m alone but not lonely. I changed during all this process. I’m very curious about that change and have started to write about it. I’m working with my coaching clients and business clients in an even more focus way. I’m very curious about the next six months.
Favorite thing to do when no one is around?
Being silent and just looking at the sky
If You Had a Warning Label, What Would It Be?
Don’t lie to me; it is ridiculous to try.
What’s your age and how old do you feel?
Sometimes 100, sometimes 20. I never know my age. Time is not a reference for me at all, but curiously I’m never late.
