Some days it feels like I’ve started a small revolution. As if I am gathering a little army of women around me. 🙂
Women who are tired of getting the message that after passing the age of 40 are no longer beautiful unless they work very hard to look younger. That the makeable society in which we live, regardless of whether the ideal of beauty is feasible, must be pursued. Because the examples are clear, the media shows us how we should look, but especially how not to look. With my project, I try to promote the love for the aging self by showing how beautiful women are, ordinary women like you and me, just like they are. And the more we inspire each other, the easier it is to love for the aging self without fear of looking older.
But I love myself
I had so many years of education, yet nobody ever taught me how to really love myself—left alone why it’s so important. We’re told that we have to love ourselves first (in order to love someone else), but we’re also told that it’s selfish to do so. And when you finally get to the point where you dare to be selfish, how exactly do you do that, loving yourself? I sometimes make fun with girlfriends saying out loud: “I love myself; I am soooooo beautiful.” After this, we all start giggling at the same time because “you just don’t say that about yourself…”, right? But why the hell not? Someone’s got to say it, and it should be you saying I LOVE ME! I’m sure that if you follow me on Instagram, you know how essential “self-love” is to me. It wasn’t until I began this project and read books on self-love that I realized how much NOT loving myself was affecting every aspect of my life.
“We’re told that we have to love ourselves first, but we’re also told that it’s selfish to do so.”
I regularly think, “well, I love myself,” but I know it is more profound than just saying those words. Loving myself is hard work. Some days I experience it as an out-and-out fight to love myself while society is screaming at me that things can be done differently. No Botox? I am regularly asked, and no, I am not anti-Botox at all, but I prefer to work on self-acceptance first than to have my frownie sprayed flat. By surrounding myself with like-minded women who also prefer to work on the part of self-love before being influenced by society standards, I am changing my reality.
Keep your eyes on the subject
I’d much rather look at women who are the age that they are, like you and me than at the filtered versions. I find it much more fascinating to see what kind of fashion style a woman my age has. Same for makeup inspiration, personal care, and other interests. But that is, of course, personal. I have noticed that whenever I keep my eyes on those women, the picture “aging” is much less negative. We need good examples and inspiration, only it is still far too few.
A start has been made; body positivity is everywhere nowadays. And body positivity can certainly also be about the aging body, its appearance, and the journey it makes over the years. Positivity about how our bodies serve us and show us the way through life, how it changed, wears out, has finally reached its end and dies. And I prefer to embrace this inevitable process with a lot of love than with aversion. Because there is no turning back, we are only going forward and realizing that I prefer to age with a hefty dose of self-love.
“You can never be happy with yourself or genuinely fulfilled in life if you do not love yourself.”
Remember that our society tries to make money off of our self-doubts, our shortcomings, our flaws. And all these points are created by that society. And they are all lies. Don’t beat yourself up for falling for those lies. Instead, believe that you are you. That you are beautiful and worthy. You were born precisely right for you. You are awesome and unique, worthy of love, of acceptance. Of taking up space. Of having a voice, a vision, a dream, a chance. Begin to look in the right direction, practice self-love, and see how your life will change for the better.
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