I don’t really like to compartmentalize, but sometimes, to simplify a story it’s more convenient.
So, for the story I give myself the label of an ambitious woman. A woman with an entrepreneurial spirit, I like to think in possibilities, opportunities and growth. In the event of a disappointment I think: what can I learn from it or how can this help making me grow. When I’m being criticized I think: how can I improve myself? It has given me a wonderful career. However, this ambition has also cost me, working hard to get better, more, higher, (en)light(ed)…
For years, I’ve been working on personal development and higher consciousness. And secretly that ambition had even snuck into it here. I certainly have gained more self-love, awareness and acceptance, but somewhere that hunger for growth and greater had gotten out of balance. Enthusiastically, I wanted to live life to the fullest: grand and compelling. Until I was exhausted from the rat race, and as a friend of mine not long ago told me: secretly also the grand ‘Michèle-race”. Because all of this, I obviously enforced myself. Whether it has to do with age (errr… older, wiser, and all that jazz), but around my 40th it was time for a big reset. Letting go, enjoying life, trying to find peace and starting over.
I went to live on Bali for eight months and after that 6 months on Ibiza in the quiet winter season. Places where the mentality is very different, much more relaxed, no rat race, but living much more ‘in the moment’. Being busy getting somewhere can also be dead tiring! Let’s be honest, is it ever good enough? No longer striving for the perfect dream life, but enjoying what I have. Enjoying the connection with people around me. Days that sometimes are lovely and full of happiness and sometimes just sh*t and upsetting or sad. Being human, realistic and real. Wabi Sabi: nothing is perfect, so let’s embrace those imperfections.
“Enthusiastically, I wanted to live life to the fullest: grand and compelling. Until I was exhausted from the rat race.”
Enjoy the little things: bare feet in the grass
On Bali and Ibiza, I started to feel what I really desired: creating beautiful things from my heart. Without the need to change the world or to become world famous. Whether it’d be books, illustrations, paintings, texts, an online platform or workshops. Naturally I more intensively started to enjoy the little things in life. My bare feet in the grass, the fireflies dancing around the veranda. I felt an increasing need for all that (I told myself) I ‘should do’ to let go. Surrender to life and find inner peace by having a greater overview, less belongings, fewer things to do.
Back in The Netherlands I moved into in a wooden house with a piece of land for about 6 months. It still was in the lively centre of Holland, but wonderfully quiet and even included a vegetable garden: a simple life. A simple life is an advanced lifestyle I came to discover. Have you ever tried to let go of all those beliefs that we’ve been put up in this society, even once? For example, in the field of money and work (making maaaaany hours means a lot of money and for that particularly we have to burn the midnight oil) and time (there is never enough). It isn’t easy to let go of everything that used to stop me, but I’m getting there.
Ambition, a hunger to grow and learn, develop myself, it belongs to me and I’ll live with it until the grave. But… the base is different. I now do it from inner peace, it’s fine as it is, I enjoy the little things, I live from my heart with bare feet in the grass. And although, I once again, at this moment of my life, live in a city, that quiescence is my solid base, wherever I’m and whatever the circumstances. I create beautiful things and having fun is my starting point. And whatever I end up doing in life ever becomes grand and compelling, is not at all to me. So, make mine a simple life…
Research: 80% makes happier
Authors Becky Beaupre Gillespie and Holly Schwartz Temple of ‘Good Enough Is The New Perfect: Finding Happiness and Success in Modern Motherhood’ have based their book on extensive research of two years among working mothers. This study showed that there are two types of women: the 100% women, who always feel an urge to do everything shipshape and the 80% women, who are fine with good enough. What turned out to be? The women who think good enough is sufficient feel happier. They more easily make time for themselves, for family and friends and they feel more connected to their partner. They find more joy in life and were more successful in all domains. The 100% women were burdened of guilt and frustration. Whether we are a mother or not: doing everything to do it right and to be successful and happy often causes the opposite effect.
My favorite ‘Simple Life’ books
- Minimalism, living a meaningful life by Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus (Publisher Luitingh-Sijthoff)
- Living Lagom, the Swedish secret for a happy life by Anna Brones (Kosmos Publishers)
- Psychological manual for the not-so-perfect woman, Lisette Weavers and Francisca Kramer (Publisher Brandt Amsterdam)
By: Michèle Bevoort
